Growing up you have no choice but to adhere to the values of those who raised you. But what happens as you age?
Native American spirituality believes in a medicine wheel that present four stages of life: the eagle, who soars high and experiences everything for the first time; the wolf, who deviates from the pack and determines its own path; the bear, developing mastery of the many seasons of life; and the buffalo, strong in the storms, beliefs, and paths to help guide the rest through them.
In the wolf stage, many of us start to realize that our parents didn’t have it all figured out. They are just people, like you and me. Maybe you were given good role models, or maybe you were given prime examples of what to avoid. I am sure most people’s experience falls somewhere in the middle.
Diverging your values from your parents in the wolf adolescence feels belittling, like they must not understand how the world works. But as we age into our bear phase, we develop mutual respect for these diverging truths. Up might look like down in this period. It’s confusing, but the storm is worth weathering.
Making this involved a lot of play. I wasn’t entirely sure how to do it at first, but I saw a nice circular mirror in my parent’s bedroom, wiped it off, and brought it outside. I knew this piece would have a variety of perspectives, but I didn’t know how. I experimented with having my feet and my reflection in the frame. Felt off. So I tried leaning into the frame, still felt off. So then I completely poured myself on top of it, like I was somehow trapped in it and you were seeing the alternate reality. That felt right.