Forever, 2022

ONIA #72

I didn't think I'd make it past 25. When I was 19, I started to watch my entire life fall apart. I struggled with finding healthy coping mechanisms for so long. I took everything out on myself. I was either the best at everything or the worst person in the world, and couldn't accurately identify my strengths and weaknesses. Life felt like a huge uphill battle of pain, instability, getting high when I didn't really want to, and making myself feel better by bolstering my self esteem against someone else's life. None of it was stable, but I never thought any of it would be permanent. I thought I'd go like the waves on the beach, here one day and gone the next. That didn't happen. I'm still here, I'm healing and showing up for myself. I want to do this forever -- be my own friend, heal continuously, life life -- forever.